Moon, June and Spoon Walk into a Bar
By Steven Owen Shields
Moon, June and Spoon walk into a bar.
Moon takes a seat. Bartender scowls and barks
in disbelief, You AGAIN? Around back, he snarls
with a jerk of his thumb. Go shine back there
if you really have to, but this time keep yer mouth shut
about it or every cop in town’ll be over here.
Moon, having no hands, still tries to pantomime
a sonnet, to rhyme with June and Spoon.
This fails to amuse the angry bartender,
who calls the cops and has the Moon arrested.
Moon, June and Spoon walk into a bar.
Bartender looks up and this time scowls at June,
points to the calendar on the wall that says
“July” and sneers So where the hell have YOU
been? We had to find a replacement for you
already; don’t bother coming in here
if you can’t come in here on time. Now beat it.
June, upset, jumps up on the bar
and proceeds to bust out all over.
Because it’s June! June! June! Cops
come and arrest June for disturbing the peace.
Moon, June and Spoon walk into a bar.
Bartender looks up from a soggy newspaper
long enough to glare at Spoon and tell him
That dish? She already left with somebody else,
got tired of waiting for you to stop forking around,
left with some cow from LA who said he could get
her into the movies. So sayonara, muchacho.
Now, scram. Spoon starts making a clatter.
Somebody pulls out a knife. Bartender
pulls out a phone from under the bar, cops
come and haul Moon, June and Spoon away.
Bartender turns back to his sports section,
shakes his head, is heard to mutter And
fer Chrissake you three cut out the rhyming
already. You ain’t no goddam poetry society,
and this ain’t no Hallmark store.
Steven Owen Shields is the author of Creation Story (Brick Road Poetry Press, 2019) and Daimonion Sonata (Birch Brook Press, 2005). His past careers include all-night radio announcer, noncommercial radio director and newspaper editor. He currently teaches coursework in broadcasting and mass communication at the University of North Georgia, and writes from Johns Creek, Georgia, a northern suburb of Atlanta. More at www.stevenowenshields.com.